No Peace For The Bereaved?! Cemetery/Funeral Home Antics.

Most "counselors" in cemetery offices are really commission-only (or mostly) salespeople.  What they really want to do is sell products so that they make money.  Top management pushes these people relentlessly to sell sell sell for the benefit of the company's revenue, earnings, stock price and management's exorbitant salaries and stock options.  Salespeople/counselors are TOLD that they MUST visit with families in their homes very soon after a loved one is buried.  These visits go by many different names.  Essentially really they are sales calls/visits but company management will never say so or admit to this; they claim they're an essential part of the burial process.  And don't get me started with funeral homes/directors.  They are not so innocent themselves.


Philadelphia Inquirer, Sunday, April 26, 2015, Front Page, Page A1:

Bette Dalton at the grave of her husband, Michael, in Holy Sepulchre Cemetery. She says she got a sales pitch by StoneMor while trying to get amarker fixed.

   DAVID SWANSON / Staff Photographer

Vicky Stackhouse of Norwood with husband, Steve, and a photo of her late father, Thomas Barrett, who died in February. Over the winter, her father asked a StoneMor representative to leave his house after feeling uncomfortable during a sales visit, she says. LAURENCE KESTERSON / For The Inquirer

Bette Dalton at Holy Sepulchre Cemetery. She says she faced a sales pitch for a casket and burial while trying to fix a damaged marker, which StoneMor agreed to replace at no charge. DAVID SWANSON / Staff Photographer

No peace for the bereaved?

The Bucks firm running Catholic cemeteries denies allegations of high-pressure sales tactics.

By Chris Palmer and Laura McCrystal INQUIRER STAFF WRITERS

   On her late husband Michael’s birthday in March, Bette Dalton visited his grave at Holy Sepulchre Cemetery in Cheltenham Township and found a chipped headstone and muddy tire tracks.

   She trekked to the cemetery office to complain, and was surprised to get a sales pitch: A worker asked Dalton, 76, to consider buying her own casket.

   After Denise Caramenico inquired about a plot at Conshohocken’s Calvary Cemetery, she got e-mails for months from a man who said he was from the Archdiocese of Philadelphia and Catholic Cemeteries. Then a salesman tracked her down at work and called.

   “I’ve never experienced that,” said Caramenico, of East Norriton. “Not even with purchasing a car.”

   For decades, area Catholics have buried their dead at one of the 13 cemeteries owned by the archdiocese.

   But since the church leased them last year to StoneMor, aBucks County company, some people say they have noticed drastic changes in the handling of a sacred Catholic responsibility.

   In two dozen interviews with families and funeral directors, similar themes emerged: complaints that StoneMor had harassed and misled mourners and customers, upsetting or bewildering some when they may be most fragile.

   StoneMor officials vigorously deny the allegations and say local funeral directors have for months tried to smear their company because both sell many of the same products.

   “Their attacks have been relentless,” said Larry Miller, the company’s chief executive.

   Jonathan Ger, aStoneMor regional sales executive, said, “We do not and will not employ people who have an aggressive sales approach.”

   Both sides have waged a public-relations war, with dueling ads on radio and in newspapers. The funeral directors also are pushing legislation they say will protect customers of funeral homes and cemeteries.

   As the battle rages, widows such as Dalton have been caught in the middle.

   The day before Easter, she said, she returned to Holy Sepulchre to discuss her husband’s new gravestone, which StoneMor had agreed to replace at no charge.

   Again, a sales representative asked Dalton whether she was interested in making arrangements for her own burial. He told her there was a special 20 percent discount available, but said she had to act fast — it would expire the next day.

   Disagreement in Detroit

   StoneMor, based in Levittown, is one of the largest death-services companies in the country.

   Publicly traded since 2004, it now owns more than 300 cemeteries and 90 funeral homes in 28 states, and specializes in selling funeral-related products, such as burial vaults and caskets, on both a “pre-need” basis and after a death.

   Its growth has not been without bumps.

   In 2010, StoneMor entered an agreement with the Detroit Archdiocese to operate its three cemeteries. Less than two years later, church officials in Detroit ended the deal.

   The Rev. Timothy Babcock, cemetery liaison for the Detroit Archdiocese, said it ultimately disagreed with StoneMor about management practices, though he would not elaborate.

   “It was just simply a philosophical difference of how Catholic Church cemeteries should be operated,” Babcock said.

   Miller said those disagreements were over logistical questions, such as how to arrange grave sites. Sales philosophieswere not an issue, he said.

   In interviews this month, Detroit-area funeral directors said they heard complaints similar to those expressed around Philadelphia about cold calls and unsolicited sales pitches to mourning families. But they say they never received an official explanation of why the church terminated the agreement.

   “Nobody asked a lot of questions,” said Pat Lynch of Lynch & Sons Funeral Directors.

   Miller said it was because the archdiocese had recovered financially and no longer needed the deal with StoneMor.

   ‘Economic battleground’

   Church officials in Philadelphia said they spoke with their Detroit counterparts before signing the deal with StoneMor.

   Finalized last May, the lease cost the company $53 million up front, plus $36 million in future payments.

   The archdiocese said that the transaction could help with its financial problems and that a large chunk of the initial payment was to be put toward an $80 million shortfall in its trust and loan fund.

   In return, StoneMor will manage and maintain the 13 cemeteries for 60 years.

   Those properties, in Philadelphia and its four surrounding Pennsylvania counties, cover 2,375 acres, enough room for 3.5 million traditional, side-by-side graves.

   It was not clear how much space was already used, though Miller said some cemeteries were more crowded than others. One in Newtown, Bucks County, he said, is virtually unused.

   When it managed the properties, the archdiocese had three salespeople on staff. StoneMor, which also secured the right to sell its products to church members, has hired 60, Miller said.

   That change is where much of the tension with funeral homes has developed.

   Funeral directors, who, like StoneMor, sell caskets and vaults, have accused the company of misleading customers.

   They say the company’s sales force has falsely cast itself as representatives of the church and has been overly aggressive in trying to close deals.

   “My main concern is the misleading and misrepresentation of who is running the cemetery,” said David Peake, who runs Robert L. Mannal Funeral Home in Mayfair and is president of the Philadelphia Funeral Directors Association.

   Others say they have received complaints from families about high-pressure home visits, unclear pricing, and a mandate to meet a sales representative at the grave before a burial.

   “They’re educating the consumer to their satisfaction, to their benefit,” said Frank Galante, who has run a funeral home in Northeast Philadelphia for five decades. “They’re not educating the consumer with all of the facts.”

   State Sen. Tommy Tomlinson (R., Bucks), a funeral director by trade who represents the district where StoneMor is headquartered, said the company had “turned a very peaceful and solemn place into an economic battleground.”

   Miller denies the funeral directors’ complaints, saying they stem from fear of competition.

   “It’s all about vaults and caskets,” he said.

   Miller said that StoneMor sales representatives were trained to build trust with customers above all else, and that many of their interactions — such as pre-burial visits — were guided by established procedures that reduce the likelihood of an unwelcome approach.

   Pressuring families would not be an effective sales tactic, he said, particularly with a 60-year lease in a close-knit community.

   “The message is loud and clear,” Miller said. “We are there to provide service.”

   Vicky Stackhouse said the service was lacking.

   Over the winter, Stackhouse’s father, Thomas Barrett, asked a StoneMor representative to leave his house after feeling uncomfortable during a sales visit, she said.

   A few weeks later, he died in a freak accident.

   He was buried at SS. Peter and Paul Cemetery in Springfield, Delaware County.

   Two days later, Stackhouse, who lives in Norwood, received a call from a salesman asking whether she had bought a grave marker, she said.

   Miller said he did not believe that call came from one of his employees. He said he had heard about similar calls to SS. Peter and Paul families from a monument seller in the area.

   Stackhouse said she did not know who was on the other end of the line. She just told him not to call back.

   “I just buried my dad … and you’ve got someone calling, trying to push me into doing something that I wasn’t ready to do,” she said. “I was mad.”

   Sporadic complaints

   Ken Gavin, a spokesman for the Archdiocese of Philadelphia, said that the church had received sporadic complaints about cemeteries since StoneMor took over but that most related to the properties’ condition. Similar calls came in when the church managed the properties, Gavin said.

   Miller said not one Catholic family in the area had complained to him about his company’s sales force. He also said StoneMor had signed 3,500 contracts with parishioners since the deal took effect.

   “From the community’s perspective, it’s been great,” he said.

   John Eirkson, president of the Pennsylvania Funeral Directors Association, a Harrisburg group that lobbies for its members, said he believed the company was focused on driving quick sales, not helping consumers.

   The state legislation he and others hope to get introduced would regulate how cemetery companies entrust their funds and would require them to provide customers with clear price sheets — as funeral homes must. Some customers, including Dalton, had no clue about the ongoing clash between the cemetery operators and funeral home directors. When she went to complain about the condition of her husband’s grave site at Holy Sepulchre and got the unexpected sales pitch, she said, she dismissed it with a simple message: “I just said, ‘Let me know when the stone comes.’ ” Then she left.cpalmer@phillynews.com  

   609-217-8305 @cs_palmer

FUNNY=Doctor Moves Office Next to Cemetery, A "Convenient Location" Comic-The Piranha Club Comic

The Piranha Club by Bud Grace  January 13, 2015

Cemetery Salespeople: Good, or Not? Did You Know They Existed? Do You Care? Pre-Planning

Please ignore Hearing Aid AD.  Sorry!  Scroll down to 2nd or next ad re cemetery salespeople!!  What do you think about this?  Does the idea of cemetery salespeople bother you?  Did you know that such a thing existed? Is it a good thing?  Then scroll down PAST another Hearing Aid AD!! to ad for Catholic cemeteries in Philadelphia, PA area now run by a big publicly-traded company.  Ad extols virtues or pre-planned (and paid for) burial arrangements.  Good, or bad?

Funeral Director Poses as Dead Client's Niece, Steals Her Money

Delaware authorities say they're seeking the suspension of the license of a Bridgeville funeral director charged with posing as the niece of a deceased client and taking thousands of dollars from her estate.

The attorney general's office announced Monday that it has filed an emergency motion before the Board of Funeral Services seeking to temporarily suspend Deborah Harris-Nock's license. The board meets next week.

Harris-Nock was charged last month with perjury, criminal impersonation and theft. Authorities say Harris-Nock identified herself as the niece of a deceased woman to the Register of Wills, fraudulently named herself executrix, then withdrew more than $9,000 from the estate. The woman's relatives reported Harris-Nock to police.

Lio comics-Happy Halloween!! FUNNY, Enjoy !! "It's the Most Wonderful Time Of The Yearr..."

Lio by Mark Tatulli

• October 28, 2013
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SpongeBob Headstone Removed From Iraq War Veteran's Grave (Cemetery Salespeople)

What most people would never even guess at is that most cemetery employees, who meet with families who have lost a loved one, are paid primarily by commission.  Perhaps that's not the case here but probably it is.  A straight commission on $26,000 is substantial vs. the MUCH lower commission on more typical or common headstones that cost roughly $2,000-$5,000.  The Walker family bought 6 graves/plots for about $5,000 each.  (Yes it's expensive to die.)  The commission on the 5 Pre-Need (bought by and for those still living) graves is MUCH higher than the commission on the 1 At-Need (for the deceased) grave.  When you enter the cemetery office while grieving you are not thinking clearly.  Your cemetery contact is a "salesperson."  They are under tremendous pressure from their bosses to sell, sell, sell, and to ask for referrals!  Believe it or not!  Sad but true.

SpongeBob headstone removed from Iraq war veteran’s grave

By AMANDA LEE MYERS Associated Press October 21, 2013 11:24PM

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In this Thursday, Oct. 10, 2013, photo provided by the family of Kimberly Walker, shows Walker's gravestone in the likeness of popular cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants. Despite getting prior approval for the gravestone from Spring Grove Cemetery in Cincinnati, the cemetery recently removed it, saying it did not fit in with the character of the historic and picturesque cemetery. (AP Photo/Kara Walker)

CINCINNATI — An Iraq war veteran’s towering SpongeBob SquarePants headstone has been removed because officials at the historic Cincinnati cemetery deemed it inappropriate for their traditional grounds.

The headstone of Kimberly Walker, 28, was made in the likeness of her favorite cartoon character and erected at Spring Grove Cemetery on Oct. 10, almost eight months after she was found slain in a Colorado hotel room.

Despite getting the cemetery’s prior approval of the headstone’s design — a smiling SpongeBob in an Army uniform, with Walker’s name and rank — her family said Monday that cemetery staff called them the day after it was installed to say it would have to come down.

The 7-foot headstone, along with a near-exact duplicate erected for Walker’s living twin sister, has been removed and will not be allowed back up, cemetery President Gary Freytag said Monday.

“We’ve decided that they aren’t appropriate for our historic cemetery and they can’t be displayed here,” Freytag said, adding that the employee who approved the headstones made an inexplicable error in judgment, given the cemetery’s traditional, stately appearance.

He acknowledged that the cemetery is at fault and that staff members would meet with Walker’s family on Tuesday to try to find a solution, which could include a more traditional gravestone bearing a small likeness of the character.

Freytag also said Spring Grove is prepared to reimburse the family for each headstone, which cost a combined $26,000, and pay for new ones.

“I feel terrible that it got to this point but I’m hoping we can come out at the other end of the tunnel with a solution,” he said.

Walker was an Army corporal assigned to the 2nd General Support Aviation Battalion and served two yearlong tours Iraq in 2006 and 2010 as a petroleum supply specialist, her family said.

Walker was found dead in a hotel room in Colorado Springs on Valentine’s Day this year, strangled and beaten to death. Her boyfriend, an Army sergeant stationed nearby, was arrested and charged in her killing.

Walker’s twin sister, Kara Walker, said the family is beyond distraught. A lot of thought went into the gravestones, which she said were chosen because her sister loved SpongeBob, even outfitting her entire bedroom with the cartoon character’s decorations.

“It is frustrating that you entrust a cemetery to have your best interest at heart and accommodate you and your family at a hard time . . . and because they don’t like it they’re going to take it down,” said Kara Walker, 29, an information technician for the U.S. Navy stationed in Naples, Italy.

“My sister served our country and most people try to accommodate veterans and try to take care of them,” she said. “For them not to accommodate and respect what my sister sacrificed, not only for my family, but for everyone else in this country, really bothers me.”

She said the only way the cemetery can make it up to the family, which she said paid for six plots for $29,000, is to put the headstones back.

“They already brought enough grief and pain to the family,” she said. “We want what we paid for and what I know my sister would have wanted.”