Death, And What Makes a Murderer?

"The ability to kill is fundamental to any healthy person.  Our existence is a fight for gain, and whoever cannot kill his neighbor has no right to an existence.  Killing is, after all, only hastening the inevitable.  Death allows no exceptions, which is good, because life is pain and suffering.  In that sense, every murder is an act of charity.  It just doesn't seem like that when the sun warms your skin or water wets your lips and you recognize your idiotic lust for life in every heartbeat and are ready to buy mere crumbs of time with everything you have accrued through life:  dignity, status, principles.  That is when you have to dig deep, to give a wide berth to the confusing, blinding light.  Into the cold, illuminating darkness.  And perceive the hard kernel.  The truth.  That is what I found.  Whatever is is that makes a person into a murderer.
What about my life?  Do I also believe it is a calm, unruffled ocean of time?
Not at all.  Before long I, too, will be lying on death's refuse heap, together with all the other role players in this little drama.  But whatever stage of decay my body may attain, even if all that remains is the skeleton, it will have a smile on its lips.  This is what I live for now:  my right to exist, my chance to be cleansed, to be cleared of all dishonor.
But this is only the beginning.  Now I am going to switch off the lamp and go out into the light of day.  The little that is left."

-- from The Leopard by Jo Nesbo

Kim Jong-il's Cremation Ashes Deposited on Ryan Seacrest

In a publicity stunt last night on the Oscars red carpet Sacha Baron Cohen emptied a gold urn labelled as containing the ashes of the late North Korean premier Kim Jong-il onto TV host Ryan Seacrest.  Cohen was dressed as his character from his upcoming movie The Dictator.  He was escorted by two sultry female bodyguards.  Seacrest seemed annoyed.  Most media types today were quite critical of Cohen and supportive of Seacrest.  In fact they had sympathy for and seemed to feel sorry for the "professional" Seacrest who they claimed takes pride in his looks and wardrobe.  But Cohen can laugh all the way to the bank now.  Seacrest probably is really not too upset.  Maybe his ego is bruised a bit but he's still making 10s of millions of dollars a year.  How come?  How did Cohen get Jong-il's ashes out of North Korea anyway? (!!)

Yew Tree: The Tree of Death, and New Life, and Immortality

The Yew is an ancient tree species that has survived since before the Ice Age.  Recently, fossils of the Yew have been found from the Jurassic era, 140,000,000 years ago.  That's a looooooong time ago.  Some English Yews are as much as 4,000 years old.  This is why the Yew is associated with immortality, renewal, regeneration, everlasting life, rebirth, transformation and access to the Otherworld and our ancestors.  Whew.

Because the Yew is a slow-growing tree, it has tight-grained wood, tough and resilient.  In the past the wood was used for spears, spikes, staves, small hunting bows and eventually the famous longbows of the Middle Ages.  The arrow were tipped in poison made from the Yew.  Druids loved to use Yew wood, and they used Yews in sacred groves and to indicate the location of blind springs.

The entire tree is poisonous:  wood, bark, needles, seed and dust.  This is one major reason why it is known as the death tree or the Tree of Death.  Yew has long been part of funerary customs.  They mainly involve carrying sprigs of Yew which are thrown in the grave under the body or of being thrown in on top of the coffin.  The Yew can teach us to see death as a form of transformation and that death is never final.  It can help us overcome our fear of our own death.  Death is a new beginning, hope and future.

Was Today's Funereal Gucci Fashion Show A Funeral For The European Economy?

At today's Gucci show in Milan, morose-looking models walked down a bruise-colored carpet in heavy, sinister makeup.  The lighting was dim, the backdrop was dark, and the clothes were almost all black.  Many said the mood of the show reflected the European economy.  Frida Giannini described the collection as "a dark glamour."  The clothes may be cheerless but they are certainly chic, and expensive.  Europeans may not buy these clothes but the Chinese probably will.  (per Charlotte Cowles at New York magazine)

Rudolph Valentino Lives, Forever

The ghosts of Hollywood live forever in Hollywood Forever Cemetery on Santa Monica Boulevard. Founded in 1899, the cemetery is the final resting place to more of Hollywood's founders and stars than anywhere else on earth.  Paramount Studios was built on the back half of the original Hollywood Cemetery, where the studio is still in operation today.  It is open to the public and many Hollywood greats are buried/entombed there:  Fay Wray, Tyrone Power, Douglas Fairbanks(Sr. and Jr.), Cecil B. De Mille, Jayne Mansfield, Charlie Chaplin, Don Adams, Mel Blanc, Peter Lorre, John Huston, Benjamin "Bugsy" Siegel, Johnny Ramone, Dee Dee Ramone, etc., and Rudolph "Rudy" Valentino (memorialized as Rodolfo Guglielmi Valentino, 1895-1926, entombed in a crypt).

Valentino is perhaps the most legendary member of the cemetery.  He was the first great matinee idol, pop icon, and a sexual symbol of the 1920's.   He died tragically of peritonitis, etc. in 1931.  He collapsed on August 15, 1926 at the Hotel Ambassador in New York City and died 8 days later.  His death caused mass hysteria across the country.  Every year on the anniversary of his death there was and is a memorial service which is still attended by 100s of people.  One or two of his silent movies are shown.  There are speakers, historians, performers, people with some connection to Valentino and admirers.  His is the first big movie star death cult.  If you look closely at the frontispiece of his crypt you'll see some darkish stains. They are the result of women kissing the crypt with lipstick on.  Who knew!!

Whitney Houston Funeral Crowning Moment / Casket

Whitney Houston's funeral service at New Hope Baptist Church lasted nearly four hours.  It was moving and must have made a lot of people think a lot about her and God and Jesus and church and faith and religion.  Ultimately the service came down to one moment really:  The sound of her own voice.

At the end of the service the strains of her biggest song, "I Will Always Love You," filled the church and the TV screen.  You couldn't help but be deeply moved and wonder-filled.  Then six men smartly assembled next to her casket, 3 on each side.  Suddenly and very dramatically they lifted the casket up on to their shoulders and then started the procession out of the church,  the casket sitting on their shoulders with their hands at their sides.  The casket itself was a strikingly beautiful shiny silver-and-gold one.  Her mother, gospel singer Cissy Houston, followed immediately behind the casket, her face framed by a large stunning black and white feathered (?) neckpiece.  She was held up by two women and wailed, "My baby!  My baby!" as she was led out of the church.  Slightly behind her was the pop icon's daughter, Bobbi Kristina, crying uncontrollably.

Death is an OPTION.?! (Healthcare)

We all talk and worry about the future of healthcare:  quality, cost, availability, technology, etc.  It's been a national / international issue for a long time and it will continue to be in the future.  Medical technology and care and pharmaceuticals and biotechnology always gets better and better.  And they always get more and more expensive.  Should the "government" fund all of this?  But isn't the "government" you and me and all of our tax dollars.  Populations are increasing and people are living longer and longer.  Can we afford the increasing cost of healthcare.  Evidence.  Look for evidence.  People have always talked about saving money through efficiency.  But is that really possible?  And how much will it help control medical prices.  Will we have to ration healthcare?  Isn't it an expensive and scarce resource?  Supply and demand.  If supply is scarce prices will go up, and up.  And who will pay for all of this?  Who will be able to pay for all of this?

In America we all consider death to be an option, not an inevitable event that we all must participate in, especially when it comes to end of life healthcare.  We want everything possible to be done medically for our parents, grandparents, etc. no matter what the cost is.  Avastin is $100,000/month and is said to prolong life no more than 3 months.  Have any of us said STOP.  I am sick and I am dying so do not prolong my life with expensive healthcare?  Not many Americans say this.  Eventually we may have no option but to accept that it sure is difficult but the time has come to cease funding palliative care of very sick and dying loved ones.

The Epic of Gilgamesh (His Search for Eternal Life)

The Epic of Gilgamesh is an epic poem from Mesopotamia.  Gilgamesh was the king of Uruk (modern day Iraq) around 2500 BC.  The earliest version of the poem was written around 2200 BC.   A number of similar stories found in the poem are found in the Bible.  Gilgamesh was allegedly two-thirds god and one-third man.  Because he was not 100% a god he would have to eventually die.  This upset him dramatically.  So he sets out on a journey to figure out how to become immortal and to live an eternal life. This has struck a chord currently and Gilgamesh has become an icon of modern popular culture.  Most of us think of our own mortality and wish at times that we could be immortal.  Gilgamesh learns that "the life that you are seeking you will never find.  When the gods created man they allotted to him death, but life they retained in their own keeping."  So he fails to find the secret of eternal life.  Time and time again people have tried to find the Fountain of Youth.

Gods and Death per Christopher Hitchens

"We are unlikely to cease making gods or inventing ceremonies to please them for as long as we are afraid of death, or of the dark, and for as long as we persist in self-centeredness.  That could be a lengthy stretch of time."

-Christopher Hitchens, 1949-2011, an atheist and an antitheist, a columnist and literary critic, an author, essayist and journalist.

Some Death and Dying Resources

Maggie Callanan, a hospice nurse for the last 30 years and the author of "Final Gifts," an influential book about death and dying.

CaringBridge, CarePages and similar sites, these are social networks for ill people that create virtual locations for loved ones.

Sacred Dying Institute seeks to bring spirituality to the act of dying.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross books.  In her 1969 book, On Death and Dying, she introduced The Five Stages of Grief, otherwise now known as the Kubler-Ross grief cycle.

The book The American Way of Death, by Jessica Mitford. was published in 1963.  It was a runaway best-seller.  It is an expose of abuses in the funeral home industry in the U.S.  An updated revision, The American Way of Death Revisited, appeared in 1998.

My Best Friend's Death

Claude died about 4 years ago now.  He was 48.  He died of bone cancer.  He was big, strong, a great athlete, a surfer, a musician, a father, a husband, and he had a great laugh.  I think about him pretty much every day.  He was my oldest friend.  He lived in California and I in Pennsylvania.  I found out after the fact that he had died.  The last I heard he was getting better.  When he was better I would travel to visit with him.  That never happened.  Unfortunately I was unable to travel to California for his memorial service.  My sister in California was able to represent me.  Thank you Ellen.  So what do we do now.  So many of us in America grew up in a very mobile society.  I grew up in New York.  Now I live in Pennsylvania, a sister of mine lives in California, and another sister lives in Vermont (her husband grew up in Dublin, Ireland).  We communicate so often via email and text and Skype.  Technology is wonderful, but it doesn't replace being together physically with someone.  Traditional mourning rituals are often religious based and involve physical presence and attendance.  But many seem to have moved away from traditional funerals and burial and mourning.  What do we do if we are not nearby geographically?

Mourning is often a personal experience anyway.  Time does often heal many wounds.  When a loved one dies you want the world to take a time-out.  But it doesn't.  Time is surreal immediately after a death.  The world keeps spinning.  So many people are too "busy" to deal with death and loss and mourning.  If you know someone who loses a loved one tread lightly but do talk to them, and maybe deliver some food to them.  Some sort of secular mourning gathering could be appropriate in helping people mourn and perhaps help them to move beyond mourning.  If the griever is distant from family plan with friends a gathering for the griever.  Make them by invitation only.  Let the griever share words or pictures or whatever about the deceased, if appropriate.  It takes a village to raise a child but it can be nice when a death occurs.