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Social media: Till death do we part

By Catherine Laughlin Correspondent | Posted: Sunday, February 3, 2013 11:15 am

When Matthew Ray logged onto his Facebook page a little while back, birthday wishes were being posted on his wall for his good friend.

But Ray’s friend had died more than a year ago.

“At first, it was surprising to see her,” said Ray. “Her family has been using her Facebook page as a memory board in her honor.”

Nowadays, people from almost every demographic have adopted some form of online networking or platform, whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, email accounts, online gaming or photo sharing sites. And with the pervasiveness of social media, it might be a good idea to establish paradigms of who will be responsible for our accounts should we die.

Ray’s attitude to being reminded of his friend’s birthday was initially jarring, but it also gave him time to reflect on her again. But he acknowledges that strategies should be in place for relatives who might want to disconnect their departed loved ones from cyberspace.

“The truth is social media isn’t going away anytime soon,” said Ray, who is copartner of the Philadelphia-based ChatterBlast Media, an organization that helps Internet-connected users develop social media strategies.

Recently topping 1 billion monthly users, Facebook has had to figure out ways to deal with those who’ve passed on, said Johanna Peace, a company spokeswoman. She said member profiles can be memorialized or shifted into a tribute page where only confirmed family and friends can leave posts in remembrance. “We also will honor requests from immediate family members to deactivate an account, which will remove the profile and any associated information from the site.”

But Peace said the complete removal of a Facebook page can only be requested with the completion of an online form and the submission of valid verification such as a death certificate.

People are not in the habit of drawing up online site passwords for their heirs, said Edward Tenner, who has written about technology in his books, “Why Things Bite Back” and “Our own Devices,” and is a visiting scholar in the School of Communication and Information at Rutgers University. “Society is not very organized for the transmission of digital property among families. I see all kinds of potential problems in the future because there are no legalities set up,” he said.

In a bygone era, folks needn’t have worried about user names. But times are evolving. As part of its directives on writing a will, the U.S. General Services Administration is now suggesting on its website (www.USA.gov) that setting up a “social media will” that details how you would like your online identity to be handled should be established.

On a personal level, estate-planning attorney Thomas D. Begley lll has also seen ghosts from the grave while visiting Facebook. “One person I know passed away within this year. And for the other person, who died a couple of years ago, I ended up deactivating him from my profile,” said Begley, of the law group Capehart Scatchard in Mount Laurel.

From a legal perspective, Begley thinks the time is coming when people should have instructions in place for their digital assets along with economic holdings like frequent flier mileage points. To cultivate uniformity, these stipulations — such as canceling an account, allowing access to emails or keeping a blog up for some time — can be set up at the time a will is drawn.

“On a real world level, most of my clients want to know who’s getting the house when a death occurs, as well as, who’s going to handle the funeral arrangements. But clients might need to list passwords and specify who gets access to online accounts, too,” he said.

Moreover, email servers have been grappling with ways to handle the accounts of people who die. Not to mention, seeing the last written messages of a loved one might offer solace for family members. So Katie Hamachek, a spokesperson for Microsoft, the operator of Hotmail and Outlook Express, said that in the event of a loss, the next of kin should contact Microsoft’s account custodian of records to learn the delicate tasks of accessing or closing an account.

“Protecting the privacy of customers is a huge priority for Microsoft,” said Hamachek. “And it’s something the company respects both in life and in death.”