Deathternity talks about all things death related. There are 1 million+ owned graves in cemeteries in America that people will not use. Cemeteries do not buy graves back. I would encourage people to begin thinking about either selling or buying these graves at a deep discount to what your cemetery charges. Or you can donate unused graves for a tax deduction. If I can help you with this please contact me here, email me at deathternity@gmail.com, or call me at 215-341-8745. My fees vary.
Sad but true. Buyer beware!! Sorry that you may have to copy & paste one of the below URLs?! They all should link to the same illustrations. Perhaps try the 3rd one down in blue.
AS soon as the CT scan was done, I began reviewing the images. The diagnosis was immediate: Masses matting the lungs and deforming the spine. Cancer. In my neurosurgical training, I had reviewed hundreds of scans for fellow doctors to see if surgery offered any hope. I’d scribble in the chart “Widely metastatic disease — no role for surgery,” and move on. But this scan was different: It was my own.
I have sat with countless patients and families to discuss grim prognoses: It’s one of the most important jobs physicians have. It’s easier when the patient is 94, in the last stages of dementia and has a severe brain bleed. For young people like me — I am 36 — given a diagnosis of cancer, there aren’t many words. My standard pieces include “it’s a marathon, not a sprint, so get your daily rest” and “illness can drive a family apart or bring it together — be aware of each other’s needs and find extra support.”
I learned a few basic rules. Be honest about the prognosis but always leave some room for hope. Be vague but accurate: “days to a few weeks,” “weeks to a few months,” “months to a few years,” “a few years to a decade or more.” We never cite detailed statistics, and usually advise against Googling survival numbers, assuming the average patient doesn’t possess a nuanced understanding of statistics.
People react differently to hearing “Procedure X has a 70 percent chance of survival” and “Procedure Y has a 30 percent chance of death.” Phrased that way, people flock to Procedure X, even though the numbers are the same. When a close friend developed pancreatic cancer, I became the medical maven to a group of people who were sophisticated statisticians. I still dissuaded them from looking up the statistics, saying five-year survival curves are at least five years out of date. Somehow I felt that the numbers alone were too dry, or that a physician’s daily experience with illness was needed for context. Mostly, I felt that impulse: Keep a measure of hope.
These survival curves, called Kaplan-Meier curves, are one way we measure progress in cancer treatment, plotting the number of patients surviving over time. For some diseases, the line looks like an airplane gently beginning its descent; for others, like a dive bomber. Physicians think a lot about these curves, their shape, and what they mean. In brain-cancer research, for example, while the numbers for average survival time haven’t changed much, there’s an increasingly long tail on the curve, indicating a few patients are living for years. The problem is that you can’t tell an individual patient where she is on the curve. It’s impossible, irresponsible even, to be more precise than you can be accurate.
One would think, then, that when my oncologist sat by my bedside to meet me, I would not immediately demand information on survival statistics. But now that I had traversed the line from doctor to patient, I had the same yearning for the numbers all patients ask for. I hoped she would see me as someone who both understood statistics and the medical reality of illness, that she would give me certainty, the straight dope. I could take it. She flatly refused: “No. Absolutely not.” She knew very well I could — and did — look up all the research on the topic. But lung cancer wasn’t my specialty, and she was a world expert. At each appointment, a wrestling match began, and she always avoided being pinned down to any sort of number.
Now, instead of wondering why some patients persist in asking statistics questions, I began to wonder why physicians obfuscate when they have so much knowledge and experience. Initially when I saw my CT scan, I figured I had only a few months to live. The scan looked bad. I looked bad. I’d lost 30 pounds, developed excruciating back pain and felt more fatigued every day. My tests revealed severely low protein levels and low blood counts consistent with the body overwhelmed, failing in its basic drive to sustain itself.
For a few months, I’d suspected I had cancer. I had seen a lot of young patients with cancer. So I wasn’t taken aback. In fact, there was a certain relief. The next steps were clear: Prepare to die. Cry. Tell my wife that she should remarry, and refinance the mortgage. Write overdue letters to dear friends. Yes, there were lots of things I had meant to do in life, but sometimes this happens: Nothing could be more obvious when your day’s work includes treating head trauma and brain cancer.
But on my first visit with my oncologist, she mentioned my going back to work someday. Wasn’t I a ghost? No. But then how long did I have? Silence.
Of course, she could not stop my intense reading. Poring over studies, I kept trying to find the one that would tell me when my number would be up. The large general studies said that between 70 and 80 percent of lung cancer patients would die within two years. They did not allow for much hope. But then again, most of those patients were older and heavy smokers. Where was the study of nonsmoking 36-year-old neurosurgeons? Maybe my youth and health mattered? Or maybe my disease was found so late, had spread so far, and I was already so far gone that I was worse off than those 65-year-old smokers.
Many friends and family members provided anecdotes along the lines of my-friend’s-friend’s-mom’s-friend or my-uncle’s-barber’s-son’s-tennis-partner has this same kind of lung cancer and has been living for 10 years. Initially I wondered if all the stories referred to the same person, connected through the proverbial six degrees. I disregarded them as wishful thinking, baseless delusion. Eventually, though, enough of those stories seeped in through the cracks of my studied realism.
And then my health began to improve, thanks to a pill that targets a specific genetic mutation tied to my cancer. I began to walk without a cane and to say things like, “Well, it’s pretty unlikely that I’ll be lucky enough to live for a decade, but it’s possible.” A tiny drop of hope.
In a way, though, the certainty of death was easier than this uncertain life. Didn’t those in purgatory prefer to go to hell, and just be done with it? Was I supposed to be making funeral arrangements? Devoting myself to my wife, my parents, my brothers, my friends, my adorable niece? Writing the book I had always wanted to write? Or was I supposed to go back to negotiating my multiyear job offers?
The path forward would seem obvious, if only I knew how many months or years I had left. Tell me three months, I’d just spend time with family. Tell me one year, I’d have a plan (write that book). Give me 10 years, I’d get back to treating diseases. The pedestrian truth that you live one day at a time didn’t help: What was I supposed to do with that day? My oncologist would say only: “I can’t tell you a time. You’ve got to find what matters most to you.”
I began to realize that coming face to face with my own mortality, in a sense, had changed both nothing and everything. Before my cancer was diagnosed, I knew that someday I would die, but I didn’t know when. After the diagnosis, I knew that someday I would die, but I didn’t know when. But now I knew it acutely. The problem wasn’t really a scientific one. The fact of death is unsettling. Yet there is no other way to live.
The reason doctors don’t give patients specific prognoses is not merely because they cannot. Certainly, if a patient’s expectations are way out of the bounds of probability — someone expecting to live to 130, or someone thinking his benign skin spots are signs of impending death — doctors are entrusted to bring that person’s expectations into the realm of reasonable possibility.
But the range of what is reasonably possible is just so wide. Based on today’s therapies, I might die within two years, or I might make it to 10. If you add in the uncertainty based on new therapies available in two or three years, that range may be completely different. Faced with mortality, scientific knowledge can provide only an ounce of certainty: Yes, you will die. But one wants a full pound of certainty, and that is not on offer.
What patients seek is not scientific knowledge doctors hide, but existential authenticity each must find on her own. Getting too deep into statistics is like trying to quench a thirst with salty water. The angst of facing mortality has no remedy in probability.
I remember the moment when my overwhelming uneasiness yielded. Seven words from Samuel Beckett, a writer I’ve not even read that well, learned long ago as an undergraduate, began to repeat in my head, and the seemingly impassable sea of uncertainty parted: “I can’t go on. I’ll go on.” I took a step forward, repeating the phrase over and over: “I can’t go on. I’ll go on.” And then, at some point, I was through.
I am now almost exactly eight months from my diagnosis. My strength has recovered substantially. In treatment, the cancer is retreating. I have gradually returned to work. I’m knocking the dust off scientific manuscripts. I’m writing more, seeing more, feeling more. Every morning at 5:30, as the alarm clock goes off, and my dead body awakes, my wife asleep next to me, I think again to myself: “I can’t go on.” And a minute later, I am in my scrubs, heading to the operating room, alive: “I’ll go on.”
Out of the mouths of babes! These were really written by 5-year-olds! The maturity of the comments caught me off guard. Many other 5-year-olds wrote the predictable that they would like to be rich or famous or a star athlete. One child wrote that he would like to live in an expensive penthouse in a tall building with his own personal outdoor pool on the roof above his penthouse. But these 3 are quite serious:
1. "I have a dream that one day I will stop violence. People in Philadelphia get killed every day. I want to stop it !! :("
-C. Sawyer
2. "My dream is to cure cancer for people that have (sic). I want to open my own organization and help dying patients."
-K. Elie
3. "I have dream that My grandma and uncle come back to life." K. Bahb
Pete Seeger R.I.P. You are a hero and a true champion of the "little" man, the 99%. Your words and work will continue to live on and effectively continue to help people, the environment, etc. Thank you.
"Just because something is abundant doesn't mean we can't lose it," Joel Greenberg says of the passenger pigeon, once North America's most abundant bird until the species was killed off in a matter of decades.
One hundred years ago, a bird named Martha made history with one simple, inevitable act: She died.
She was the planet's lone remaining passenger pigeon. Her death on Sept. 1, 1914, marked a rare instance when the exact date of an extinction is known. (Although, in truth, some accounts put her demise a day or two earlier.)
How a species that numbered in the billions - once North America's most abundant bird - can disappear in a matter of decades is a sad story of "deliberate, wanton, and direct human actions," said Joel Greenberg, a Chicago author and natural history researcher. "Just because something is abundant doesn't mean we can't lose it."
Intrigued by the bird since fourth grade, and all but consumed by it since 2009, Greenberg has written its sad history - and the lessons to be learned from it - in A Feathered River Across the Sky: The Passenger Pigeon's Flight to Extinction, published this month.
He'll speak at the Wagner Institute of Free Science on Thursday, and at John James Audubon's home, Mill Grove, in Montgomery County on Friday.
Other events are being planned at area institutions. At the Academy of Natural Sciences of Drexel University, visitors can see two dozen passenger pigeons preserved through taxidermy in one of the museum's permanent dioramas - possibly the largest number on display anywhere.
For many who study birds - definitely for Greenberg - the passenger pigeon was in a class by itself. Descriptions of its magnitude almost defy belief. Nesting birds were so numerous, their weight broke tree branches. Their "screaming noise" could be heard for miles.
A migrating flock along the Ohio River, Audubon wrote, blocked the sun for three days.
"The pigeon was no mere bird," the conservationist Aldo Leopold once observed, "he was a biological storm."
Passenger pigeons were much larger than today's urban rock pigeons and mourning doves. Their trim, muscular bodies were built to fly - at up to 60 m.p.h., scientists figured.
Perhaps inevitably, given passenger pigeons' abundance, their lives would become intertwined with humans', and even find their way into the lexicon. Supposedly, the Philadelphia neighborhood name Moyamensing is the Native American word for "pigeon droppings."
Beds and pillows were stuffed with their feathers; their fat went into shortening and soap. They were used in medicines, and celebrated in literature.
But their history - and much of Greenberg's book - is also a study in carnage. People killed them for food. People killed them for fun. The birds were shot, trapped, and netted. Hunters set fires under trees where they roosted or fed the birds alcohol-soaked grains, then scooped them up.
When huge flocks of passenger pigeons passed over Philadelphia, people opened fire from their balconies and rooftops, said Keith Russell of Audubon Pennsylvania, who has researched numerous historical accounts from this region.
The expansion of railroads opened up a national market for pigeon meat. Birds could be packed 300 to a barrel and shipped to major metropolitan areas - cheap food for a burgeoning urban population. And the expansion of telegraph lines meant that wherever the pigeons showed up, operators could send out alerts.
Greenberg could find only two photos of live wild birds. One, taken in 1870 in Bucks County, shows Solebury Township pigeon trapper Albert Cooper with three "blind decoys," their eyelids sewn shut to temporarily blind them.
For the species, the end came quickly. A population "bewilderingly vast" in 1860 was virtually gone by 1900, Greenberg writes. There was little outcry.
He ultimately found some reason for optimism in what was otherwise a depressing book project.
The passenger pigeon's demise spawned the country's first environmental movement, he said, and a federal law regulating the killing of migrant wildlife.
Greenberg and others have formed Project Passenger Pigeon, to ensure that no one forgets the bird, and to foster conservation for other species.
After all, "we're still losing things," Greenberg said. The dusky seaside sparrow - a bird that Greenberg once saw - went extinct in 1987. The world's only four survivors were taken from a Florida marsh to Walt Disney World, where they died.
Greenberg sees parallels to the passenger pigeon slaughter in pelagic fishing techniques, where factory boats with massive nets scoop up everything in their path.
To Audubon Pennsylvania executive director Phil Wallis, the bird is "a stark example of what could happen if we're not vigilant, if we're not good stewards, if we don't balance the needs of nature and our own wants and desires."
He need only look above the mantelpiece at Mill Grove, the state organization's base. There, in iridescent glory, is a pair of preserved passenger pigeons.
"They're beautiful," Wallis said. "They just make my heart sing and cry at the same time."
Author Joel Greenberg will give two talks this week. Both are free.
Thursday, 6 p.m., Wagner Free Institute of Science, 1700 W. Montgomery Ave. Registration requested athttps://passengerpigeon.eventbrite.com Information: 215-763-6529.
Friday, 6:30 p.m., John James Audubon Center at Mill Grove, 1201 Pawlings Road, Audubon, Montgomery County. Registration requested by e-mail:JJAC_education@audubon.org. Information: 610-666-5593.
For the 18 men aboard the French merchant ship Rose Emelye, the evening of August 23, 1718, was shaping up to be as routine as the 167 that had preceded it since they’d left Nantes. They’d spent the spring following the winds and currents across the Atlantic to tropical Martinique, and much of the summer unloading French cargo and taking on bags of cocoa and barrels of freshly refined sugar. Now they were following the Gulf Stream home in the company of another French merchant ship, La Toison d’Or, sailing just a stone’s throw behind and to leeward. The American mainland had disappeared behind the horizon days before. The next day would raise Bermuda above the horizon, the final waypoint before making landfall in Europe.
Then, as the sun sank low in the sky, someone spotted sails bearing down on their stern.
Over the next three hours the sky grew dark and the vessel drew ever closer. To the Frenchmen’s relief, it was a tiny vessel: a sloop with Spanish lines better suited to shuttling cargo between Caribbean islands than to crossing an ocean. Still, something wasn’t right. What was it doing out here in the open ocean, and why was it on an intercept course with the Frenchmen’s much larger oceangoing merchant ships? As the mysterious sloop overtook them and pulled alongside, they knew they would have answers soon enough.
In the last moments, Capt. Jan Goupil would have seen three cannon muzzles rolled out of gun ports on the tiny sloop’s sides and dozens of armed men crowded on its decks. He ordered his crew of 17 to prepare for action, getting Rose Emelye’s four cannons to the ready. Remove yourselves, Goupil’s mate cried out to the men on the sloop, or we will fire!
On the tiny sloop, a tall, slim man with a long black beard barked out an order. His helmsman threw the tiller hard to lee, men released ropes, and, sails briefly flapping, the strange vessel suddenly swung hard about, shooting by in the opposite direction.
Goupil’s skin may have turned cold. The sloop—the pirate sloop—swept down to the unarmed Toison d’Or. Minutes later the vessels’ wooden hulls came together with a moan. Pirates swarmed over the gunwales and onto the ship’s decks, seizing the crew, perhaps as human shields. The bearded man had fooled him. Now he found himself facing not one attacker but two.
Soon the bearded man was alongside again and his men discharged their cannons. Musket balls flew over Goupil’s head. There was nothing to be done. He turned Rose Emelye into the wind, drifted to a halt and surrendered his command.
Blackbeard, the notorious pirate, had captured two vessels more than twice the size of his own—a feat described here for the first time. He could not have known that these would be the last prizes of his career and that in just three months he and most of his crew would be dead.
***
Out of all the pirates who’ve trolled the seas over the past 3,000 years, Blackbeard is the most famous. His nearest rivals—Capt. William Kidd and Sir Henry Morgan—weren’t really pirates at all, but privateers, mercenaries given permission by their sovereign to attack enemy shipping in time of war. Blackbeard and his contemporaries in the early 18th-century Caribbean had nobody’s permission to do what they were doing; they were outlaws. But unlike the aristocrats who controlled the British, French and Spanish colonial empires, many ordinary people in Britain and British America saw Blackbeard and his fellow pirates as heroes, Robin Hood figures fighting a rear-guard action against a corrupt, unaccountable and increasingly tyrannical ruling class. So great were these pirates’ reputations—daring antiheroes, noble brigands—that they’ve been sustained ever since, inspiring 18th-century plays, 19th-century novels, and 20th- and 21st-century motion pictures, television shows and pop culture iconography. In his lifetime, Blackbeard—who terrorized the New World and died in a shipboard sword fight with sailors of the Royal Navy—captivated the public imagination like no other. He has never let it go.
And yet Blackbeard’s life and career have long been obscured in a fog of legend, myth and propaganda, much of it contained in a mysterious volume that emerged shortly after his death: A General History of the Robberies and Murders of the Most Notorious Pyrates. Nobody knows for sure who wrote the book—which was published pseudonymously in 1724—but the General History almost single-handedly informed all the accounts that have come since. Parts of it are uncannily accurate, drawn word-for-word from official government documents. Others have been shown to be complete fabrications. For researchers, it has served as a treasure map, but one that leads to dead ends as often as it does to verifiable evidence, which scholars covet like gold.
Many of the discoveries shed light on the final months of Blackbeard’s life, when he executed a series of daring schemes that, for a time, kept him one step ahead of his enemies as the golden age of piracy was collapsing all around him. They go a long way in explaining why a pirate active for, at most, five years has managed to grip the public’s attention for nearly three centuries.
***
Of late, pirates are everywhere. Disney is planning the fifth installment of its Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, while the fourth installment of the multi-billion-dollar Assassin’s Creed video game series is entitled “Black Flag.” (I worked on the game as a script consultant.) And there are two new television series: “Black Sails,” which premiered in January on Starz, and, launching this winter on NBC, “Crossbones,” which features John Malkovich as Blackbeard and is based on my 2007 nonfiction book, The Republic of Pirates.
Among the pirates who have scoured the seven seas, Blackbeard stands as history's most notorious. Said to have captured two ships more than twice the size of his own, Blackbeard's conquests have been told and retold for nearly three centuries, captivating countless imaginations.
Blackbeard photo by Flickr user Bruceclay
For so long, Blackbeard's epic has been obscured by legend and popular lore. But recent documents discovered deep from within British, French and American archives and others, uncovered from the sands of the U.S. coast, have allowed scholars and historians to piece together much of the intrigue.
Woodard's account of Blackbeard's last moments is one of loyalty, revenge and gore.
At the height of his pirating career, lasting no more than five years, according to Woodard, Blackbeard and his men reputedly had the Royal Navy on the run, disrupted the trans-Atlantic trade of nearly three empires and struck fear in the minds of statesmen from the Americas to Europe.
From their strategic base in Nassau, Bahamas, Blackbeard and his men were able to sail out into the heavily trafficked Florida Straits and carry back captured prizes to their fortified position.
Blackbeard was seen in his time by many ordinary people as a "Robin Hood" type figure, fighting against the status quo of a corrupt ruling class. Most of his men saw themselves as engaged in a type of social revolt, not simply banditry for profit.
And despite his pirate persona, Blackbeard had never killed a man.
That is until his fatal final battle with the Royal Navy, as chronicled in Woodard's account.
In Blackbeard's final days, he was living in Bath, a frontier colony where Governor Charles Eden of North Carolina was then living. The colony was in dire straits after attacks from local Indians left many dead. But Blackbeard and his men offered the colony protection and man-power, and in exchange, Eden offered them sanctuary. The infamous pirate settled there and even married a local girl.
Despite Blackbeard's favorable relationship with Eden, many saw him as a threat -- including Virginia Lt. Governor Alexander Spotswood. Keeping tabs on his whereabouts for months, Spotswood schemed with Royal Navy Lt. Robert Maynard to attack Blackbeard.
On Nov. 21, 1718, finally mired in a bloody battle near Ocracoke, the two crews shared deadly blows. Conceding defeat, Blackbeard ordered his ship to be brought alongside Maynard's and walked aboard. Suddenly the two crews charged into hand-to-hand combat. According to records found from Maynard himself, Blackbeard fell "with five shot in him, and 20 dismal cuts."