Closing Thoughts: Machines to Make Us Happy | Dickinson College
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Robots signal a new era of elder care !!!!
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Saturday, August 1, 2015
DEATHWATCH:A Day in the Life of My Dying Mother-in-Law PART IV
Continued from yesterday - Part IV - more parts to follow:
Just another add on thought FYI: Geri has been mostly very difficult through all this, very mean and demanding something often, close to all of the time. She has not been thankful or appreciative. And she has often been very mean to Amy, insulting and belittling Amy.
We have a hospice nurse coming roughly every other day to the house. She is really quite helpful, to us and to Geri. Yesterday she pulled us aside and asked if we had a funeral home in mind that we want to use for Geri. And we answered no we do not have a particular funeral home in mind. She offered that now is the time to pick out a funeral home and that we should keep their phone # handy. She feels that Geri's at time labored breathing among other issues indicates that Geri could have an episode at any time, and that she could die.
It's funny because the nurse being so direct makes you focus on and really think about death pretty clearly, as clearly as is possible. It's still hard to fully grasp, especially for Amy who has not lost a parent yet. And Jack doesn't want to think about it and the details at all. When we've brought up death with Geri briefly and only 2 or 3 times in the last few months, when she was able to think better and to understand things, she always said, "do whatever you want." To me that is very selfish, irresponsible and actually kind of mean. The Geri I know has been great at times but often she's been very selfish, and jealous, living her life. The right thing to do is to figure it out FOR us and tell us what to do in detail so that we don't have to figure out what to do, to "do whatever we want." Death is hard for most people. Even right now Amy is struggling with what to do. We're not thinking clearly NOW. It's hard to focus on. And when death
does occur thinking clearly will be hard; emotion, grieving and sadness kick in. It can be easy to talk about death away from death, way before death has occurred (even though most Americans, only about 28%, preplan), but most Americans still do not like to talk about death, and do not do so easily.
Amy is thinking that when Geri dies she does not want to see people. While grieving she just wants to grieve she doesn't want to talk to people. So she does not want a funeral. She's wondering though if our friends and her family would think that that's a terrible thing. Probably we will cremate Geri and scatter most of her ashes privately in different places nearby. Thinking about "doing whatever we want" burial-wise and funeral-wise for Geri has been hard and usually Amy starts crying.
Amy advised Jack to tell Geri he loves her. He offered that he had not said that to Geri in a long time. Amy thinks she will start calling some family and friends today and suggest that they come by the house to say goodbye to Geri. Even though Jack thinks we should tell no one. Watch, Geri will live 6 more months, or years.?!
Hospice asked Geri a # of times if she would like to see a chaplain and Geri has said no, loudly, each and every time. As difficult as Geri has been at times, we still love her very much.
It's such a cliche unfortunately, and we all get so caught up in our lives, but love the one you're with, and enjoy each and every day.
To Be Continued
Just another add on thought FYI: Geri has been mostly very difficult through all this, very mean and demanding something often, close to all of the time. She has not been thankful or appreciative. And she has often been very mean to Amy, insulting and belittling Amy.We have a hospice nurse coming roughly every other day to the house. She is really quite helpful, to us and to Geri. Yesterday she pulled us aside and asked if we had a funeral home in mind that we want to use for Geri. And we answered no we do not have a particular funeral home in mind. She offered that now is the time to pick out a funeral home and that we should keep their phone # handy. She feels that Geri's at time labored breathing among other issues indicates that Geri could have an episode at any time, and that she could die.
It's funny because the nurse being so direct makes you focus on and really think about death pretty clearly, as clearly as is possible. It's still hard to fully grasp, especially for Amy who has not lost a parent yet. And Jack doesn't want to think about it and the details at all. When we've brought up death with Geri briefly and only 2 or 3 times in the last few months, when she was able to think better and to understand things, she always said, "do whatever you want." To me that is very selfish, irresponsible and actually kind of mean. The Geri I know has been great at times but often she's been very selfish, and jealous, living her life. The right thing to do is to figure it out FOR us and tell us what to do in detail so that we don't have to figure out what to do, to "do whatever we want." Death is hard for most people. Even right now Amy is struggling with what to do. We're not thinking clearly NOW. It's hard to focus on. And when death
does occur thinking clearly will be hard; emotion, grieving and sadness kick in. It can be easy to talk about death away from death, way before death has occurred (even though most Americans, only about 28%, preplan), but most Americans still do not like to talk about death, and do not do so easily.
Amy is thinking that when Geri dies she does not want to see people. While grieving she just wants to grieve she doesn't want to talk to people. So she does not want a funeral. She's wondering though if our friends and her family would think that that's a terrible thing. Probably we will cremate Geri and scatter most of her ashes privately in different places nearby. Thinking about "doing whatever we want" burial-wise and funeral-wise for Geri has been hard and usually Amy starts crying.
Amy advised Jack to tell Geri he loves her. He offered that he had not said that to Geri in a long time. Amy thinks she will start calling some family and friends today and suggest that they come by the house to say goodbye to Geri. Even though Jack thinks we should tell no one. Watch, Geri will live 6 more months, or years.?!
Hospice asked Geri a # of times if she would like to see a chaplain and Geri has said no, loudly, each and every time. As difficult as Geri has been at times, we still love her very much.
It's such a cliche unfortunately, and we all get so caught up in our lives, but love the one you're with, and enjoy each and every day.
To Be Continued
Friday, July 31, 2015
A Day in the Life of My Dying Mother-in-Law PART III
continued from yesterday - PART III:
To Be Continued
Yeah sorry to go on and on. I tend to do that; stream of consciousness. I just wanted to give u a sense of a "Day in the Life Of." And that was just the first half of yesterday. We had a tough 2nd half of the day too. Geri had a very important Doctor appointment yesterday late afternoon. Since she can no longer walk or go in a wheelchair she has to be transported everywhere via private ambulance. The drivers took her to downtown Philadelphia to a very wrong address, not to the correct address in a town just outside of Philadelphia!! The doctor's secretary yelled ridiculously at Amy which got Amy crying. The doctor, a "good" friend of Geri and Jack's, said he was leaving his office and would not wait for the ambulance to arrive at the right location which would take about 40 minutes. The secretary offered that Geri could reschedule in another 3 weeks!! We had already waited 3 weeks for this appointment. The secretary and doctor should react
with a lot more empathy and kindness and urgency.
We're now literally on about our 12th private ambulance company in the last year. There's been a HUGE problem here in and around Philadelphia with private ambulance companies engaging in massive Medicare fraud, especially for dialysis patients like Geri. They're getting shut down and arrested by the Feds. Most of the companies are run by shady people, several by Russian expats. Their equipment and employees are very substandard. It's scary and a shame. And it's made things much more difficult for us. It's actually so far been impossible to find a good private Medicare-approved ambulance company here in Philadelphia. Anyway, just so you know. Thanks. Amy and I are trying very hard and doing a lot for Geri, but we're not really equipped for this. Hospice does open up a lot of help in terms of people coming to help us at the house pretty much on a daily basis: nurses, social workers, bathers, etc. We have no idea if Geri has a week, a month, 6
months left.?! We're always hopeful she'll get better but ...
with a lot more empathy and kindness and urgency.
We're now literally on about our 12th private ambulance company in the last year. There's been a HUGE problem here in and around Philadelphia with private ambulance companies engaging in massive Medicare fraud, especially for dialysis patients like Geri. They're getting shut down and arrested by the Feds. Most of the companies are run by shady people, several by Russian expats. Their equipment and employees are very substandard. It's scary and a shame. And it's made things much more difficult for us. It's actually so far been impossible to find a good private Medicare-approved ambulance company here in Philadelphia. Anyway, just so you know. Thanks. Amy and I are trying very hard and doing a lot for Geri, but we're not really equipped for this. Hospice does open up a lot of help in terms of people coming to help us at the house pretty much on a daily basis: nurses, social workers, bathers, etc. We have no idea if Geri has a week, a month, 6
months left.?! We're always hopeful she'll get better but ...
To Be Continued
Thursday, July 30, 2015
A Day in the Life of My Dying Mother-in-Law PART II
Continued from Part I yesterday - Part II:
As of this week Geri cannot leave her bed. Prior to her most recent hospital visit I was able to lift her out of her bed and place her in a wheelchair so she could eat, watch TV, etc. Now we cannot do that.! Plus in the hospital she developed a severe bedsore!! which smells mightily of rotting flesh, and cleaning it and changing the dressing are difficult and actually disgusting.
A few weeks ago it was suggested that she start hospice. Medicare will pay for hospice care here at home. Geri agreed to it verbally but when it came time to sign literally on the dotted line she refused. She said she felt hospice care meant death and she wanted to try rehab yet again only here at home. Well once again she really didn't try to rehab very hard. So the other day in the hospital she finally agreed to hospice care here at home and she signed the documents required. So we'll see. She's a bit delusional at times but the boys (grandsons, aged 5 and 2) have been great to her and very loving. I think it's tough on them too. Her husband Jack has been obscenely mean to Geri. We think it's horrible of him. But Amy has been very tough with him and is insisting that he get more involved, and that he be nicer to his wife, and to us. We understand it's probably difficult for him to cope with not having a healthy spouse for some years now, but . . .
A few weeks ago it was suggested that she start hospice. Medicare will pay for hospice care here at home. Geri agreed to it verbally but when it came time to sign literally on the dotted line she refused. She said she felt hospice care meant death and she wanted to try rehab yet again only here at home. Well once again she really didn't try to rehab very hard. So the other day in the hospital she finally agreed to hospice care here at home and she signed the documents required. So we'll see. She's a bit delusional at times but the boys (grandsons, aged 5 and 2) have been great to her and very loving. I think it's tough on them too. Her husband Jack has been obscenely mean to Geri. We think it's horrible of him. But Amy has been very tough with him and is insisting that he get more involved, and that he be nicer to his wife, and to us. We understand it's probably difficult for him to cope with not having a healthy spouse for some years now, but . . .
To be continued - Part III next
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
DEATHWATCH:A Day in the Life of My Ailing/Dying Mother-in-Law
A day in the life of caring for my ailing/dying? 74-year-old mother-in-law; just so you know: Part I:
Not sure what you know about Amy's Mom Geri at this point Ellen but she has been very unwell for some years now. It's been difficult and sad to watch her slowly but surely get worse and worse, and to really not do very much to try to get better. But she is tough. She's like a cat in that she's had about 29 lives so far. We've been surprised a number of times that she's still alive. She's reached a very tough place now. She cannot walk. We've bought a hospital bed for her and put it and her in the living room on the first floor. She came home yesterday from her most recent hospital and then hospice facility. She needed yet another surgical procedure about 2 weeks ago and then she went to rehab briefly. Most of the "rehab" facilities she's been to have frankly been a joke. They excel at taking Medicare money and NOT rehabbing her at all. In fact she's gotten much worse in each of the last 3 rehab facilities she's stayed at.!! When her Medicare
allotment is used up they've all released her to us at home. It's not been a matter of where she is health-wise but that Medicare won't pay for her to stay beyond a certain period of time. They should be ashamed, but they're not.
Anyway last night she fell out of bed after taking her diaper off and shat all over the floor. She was due to go to dialysis this morning at 5 AM via ambulance. We heard her and cleaned her and the rug in the living room up, and then the ambulance guys showed up shortly thereafter and because there had been a fall they are required by law to take her to the local ER to make sure she's OK. So she missed dialysis today and she'll go tomorrow. She goes via ambulance there and back 3 times per week.
To Be Continued
I think of Pete Rose at 74, Mick Jagger at 72, Keith Richards at 71, the Rolling Stones, etc. etc. etc.; all going strong seemingly somehow. And then my sickly dying ungrateful whining moaning, constantly and repeatedly and loudly calling "help" and our names for help. I'm sure she's scared. It's tough, and sad.
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Funny COMICS-Cats, Noah, Vegan Baby!!
ENJOY!!!! Please scroll down to funny comics below:
WuMoby Wulff & Morgenthaler
- July 28, 2015
- From Beginning
Copyright 2015 Patrick McDonnell. Lio
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