Selling Graves You Will Not Use

It is possible to sell graves/plot/interment spaces, outer burial container vaults, opening and closing interment fees that you will not be using.  Be prepared to have some patience.  It takes some time to sell cemetery property but it can be done and it is perfectly above-board and legal.  Almost all cemeteries will not buy your graves.  You may not want to hear this but you will most likely have to sell your cemetery property at a deep discount to what the cemetery charges currently.  You can try to sell whatever you own at whatever price you can get.  If you can get $10,000 per grave, great!  But most likely if you are trying to sell your graves at a price near to the cemetery price you will likely be disappointed that the graves have not sold and probably they will not sell.  My experience is that you will be able to sell your graves for about 20% of what the cemetery charges.  So if you inherited the graves that might be OK.  But graves are typically not a source of quick cash, of easy money, unfortunately.  Once you do find a buyer it is pretty simple to effect the transfer.  There may be a transfer fee.

Check out my prior blogs here, and check out Twitter.com/@deathternity.  email me a deathternity@gmailcom.  I am happy to talk to you about the above and to help you if you wish.  There could be some fee depending on my involvement.

Costs of Funeral Homes and Cemeteries

I saw an ad on television today stating that the average cost for a funeral now is $9,000.00.  That's a little more than I thought.  And that does not include cemetery costs which run probably about another $9,000 and up per person.  So that is about $18,000.00 and up PER PERSON!  That's a lot of money and most people are shocked when they figure this out which is usually AFTER someone has died.  These things can be preplanned and prepaid (and financed) while people are alive.  Most people put this on the back burner and do not want to think about it.  Aside from the money there is the emotional part of death.  It is very difficult to figure out the details of the above while you are grieving.  It is a great gift to your survivors to do the above yourself and not leave it to your loved ones.  Cremation can definitely be a much lower cost option.  But why not consider buying your cemetery arrangements from someone who owns graves that they will not use.  You can buy these graves at about 20% of what you would pay the cemetery.  Often these graves include outer burial container vaults and opening and closing interment fees.  Pass these saving to your survivors, a charity, your church, etc.  I am happy to talk to anybody about how easy it is to do this.  Email me at deathternity@gmail.com.  And check out @deathternity on Twitter.

Female Funeral Directors

When you choose your funeral home, your final arrangements, who you choose and what you choose is very personal.  These days most funeral directors are male, and the average age is about 60.  There is a smaller and younger demographic developing of female funeral directors.  They tend to talk to and know one another as their numbers are small.   Many people that I have talked to feel that most of the male funeral directors they have dealt with are arrogant, expensive and that they really have little empathy for the survivors.  Maybe we perceive this when we are grieving.  Maybe having a know-it-all male funeral director helps us get through a funeral.?  To paraphrase a pithy phrase a lot of people think that if women ran the world that the world would be a better place, now and in the past.  So there is some thinking that female funeral directors would be and are more caring and understanding.

Cemeteries in the Marcellus Shale Region of Western PA

Recently a number of cemeteries, including the Catholic Cemeteries Association cemeteries, in the Marcellus Shale region of southwestern Pennsylvania have signed leases with gas drillers.  Some of these cemeteries are in Allegheny County which is where the city of Pittsburgh is located.  Urban drilling?  The cemeteries claim that they will not permit the drillers to drill in developed sections of any cemetery.  The drillers will only be allowed to drill in not yet developed areas of cemeteries.  Think about that.  Do you think your buried loved ones would like that proximity.  How will the survivors of those buried find that acceptable.  Presumably all of the money from the leases goes to the cemeteries, not to the owners of the graves.  How much money is involved and who benefits from this money.  What will the cemeteries do with the money?  Probably buyers of graves did not have something like this in mind when they bought their graves.  My understanding is that un-/non-developed sections of cemeteries can only be used eventually for burial purposes.?

Municipal/Public Burial Fees Surging

Speaking of the now and the future of cemeteries:

Many municipalities across the U.S. own their own cemeteries.  Typically their fees are relatively reasonable.  But that is changing quickly.  Given the poor economy many municipalities are raising their prices for these cemeteries, often dramatically.  This is painful for those who use these cemeteries.  As an FYI, relative to many urban cemeteries these municipal cemetery fees are still often much much lower than their urban for profit corporate cemeteries.  For profit cemeteries typically have, and have had, at least one price increase a year across the board for all of their different fees:  cost of graves/crypts/lawn crypts/cremation interment options, opening and closing of the grave, etc. interment fee, outer burial container vaults, memorialization, etc.  They are very good at raising prices, partly to pay for sales commissions to cemetery representatives, and to pay for their layers of management/stock options, etc.

The Future of Burial

Today I saw a full page ad in the Wall Street Journal for I-Memorial and I-Tomb.  They are both offered by the same company.  They are really virtual memorialization online for the dead; perhaps a virtual cemetery of sorts.  Is this a good idea or not?  Again it's personal.  For many we remember and honor our deceased loved ones' spirits in our minds.  The two I's will probably find some interest with a fair number of people.  I am not sure how much they cost.  Some people will always like to have a physical place to visit to remember their deceased loved ones.  Some people will never visit a cemetery.  Some will choose the I's as a way to remember.  I-Tomb is for people already deceased.  Survivors can arrange online memorials.  I-Memorial is for those who are still living.  The living can arrange how they would like to be remembered themselves.  Apparently this includes leaving passwords, etc. for bank accounts, online accounts, etc. so that your survivors won't have to struggle figuring these things out.  Right now this is a big problem with email, Facebook, Twitter, etc.

It's Personal: What to do With Your Body When You Die

What you decide to do with your body after death is very personal.  Cremation?  Full body burial in a grave with a casket.  Would you like to be interred aboveground in a crypt or mausoleum?  Everyone has their own decisions to make.  Go online or to the library and look up the Capuchin Catacombs in Italy.  It's worth your time as the pictures are compelling.  The catacombs were open from about the mid 1500s through the early 1900s.  People were placed in a variety of positions (sitting, standing, lying down, etc.) and they are in those positions to this day.  The clothes that they were interred in are in most cases still in pretty good condition.  Some look like they are ready for a conversation with you today.
 The actor Larry Hagman (the TV show Dallas) says that "he would like his body to be scattered over a field and have marijuana and wheat planted and harvest it in a couple of years and then have a big marijuana cake, enough for 200 to 300 people.  People would eat a little Larry".
So it's very personal and it's up to you to decide.  It would be kind of you to decide so that your survivors do not have to make that difficult (for them) decision.

Please contact me here with any thoughts, comment, questions or at deathternity@gmail.com.  You might also like to take a look at funny/odd/different epitaphs on Twitter at #deathternity.