What is the meaning of life?

What is the meaning of life?  Where did we come from?  Where did the earth come from?  How do we measure our lives?  What's makes our lives valuable?  We all think about life and death occasionally.  The adventurer, hero, mountain climber George Mallory wrote, "What we get from this adventure is just sheer joy.  And joy is, after all, the end of life.  We do not live to eat and make money."  And Hunter S. Thompson wrote, "Life has improved immeasurably since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously." Many many poems have been written about life and death.  The poet and playwright Robert Browning wrote, "I shall be found by the fire, suppose/O'er a great wise book as beseemeth age,/While the shutters flap as the cross-wind blows/And I turn the page, and I turn the page."

Do you know the word "thanatopsis?"   It is a view or contemplation of death.  Thanatopsis is of Greek origin (thanato- meaning death and -opsis meaning likeness or idea) and it was first used in English by the poet William Cullen Bryant in his 1817 poem of the same name.  Nice poem about death.?   It states that we are all going to die someday just as all have died before us (kings and the powerful included).

Are Flea Market/Yard Sale Purchases Haunted?

Let's talk about death.  None of us really want to.  But why not?  It's part of life whether we like it or not. No one has figured out a way to avoid it.  It sure can be grim but it doesn't have to be.  There is a place for humor, mystery, wonder, etc.

But the title of this Post is interesting.  Years ago I would NEVER buy anything secondhand at a flea market/yard sale/church sale, etc.  There was definitely a yech factor for me.  I would only buy things in stores, hopefully on sale.  At a hospital fundraiser I bought a used beautiful old suit for not much money.  It had belonged to someone else.  In fact his name was written inside the suit jacket pocket.  I kind of went eww but it fit perfectly.  This was my first secondhand purchase.  While commuting on the train one day I ran into an older friend.  He was a proud Harvard grad and always impeccably dressed.  He commented on what a nice suit I had on.  It was my secondhand new old suit.  So I told him about the suit and I mentioned the name that was in the suit.  It turns out that my friend actually knew the person!  That was a little spooky but interesting.  I unfortunately never felt the former owner's spirit.  I wore that suit until it literally fell apart.

So how about you?  Have you experienced any spirits, ghosts, odd winds, happenings related to anything you've bought secondhand from flea markets/yard sales, etc.?  I have not.   And I believe in spirits.  And I now buy almost everything I buy from yard sales.  I almost never buy retail anymore.  I find it fun.  And it's amazing the large number of wonderful things I've purchased at yard sales for next to nothing.

Is There Funny Death-Related Humor?

CNBC just reported that there is one death from suicide in America every 15 minutes, or about 36,000 annually.  That's unbelievable.

In total there are about 2.5 million deaths due to all causes annually in America.  That works out to about 6,850 deaths per day or about 285 people per hour or about 70 deaths every 15 minutes.

Most of us consider death to be grim and something we would rather not think and/or talk about.  So it's interesting to see that there is a lot of death-related humor, some of it actually funny.   Consider the humor writer Mike Sacks.  He wrote a funny (perhaps grim) cartoon called "IKEA Instructions."  It is available online:

Do-It-Yourself (DIY) Home Funerals

When death occurs most of us are flummoxed.  We do not know what to do.  And then suddenly there is SO much to do.  And given that we are grieving it is difficult to move through all that needs to be done.  It is said that there are 128 things that need to be done when and after someone dies.  Probably the first thing to do is to call a funeral home.  Their function is to remove and handle and prepare the body.  But many states allow you to do this yourself in your own home.  You can do-it-yourself (DIY).  You can provide/build your own casket.  And then clean and dress the body and have a viewing.  You will need to get a death certificate on your own from your local town / municipal office.  And you will need a Permit for Dispositon of Human Remains to transport the body. Embalming is NOT mandatory.  It can be a good idea depending on how things evolve but it is money you can save whether you use a funeral home or not.  The less you involve a funeral home / cemetery, the more money you will save.  Most of us could not do this and would not, but it is permissible in many states.  Sometimes you simply need a licensed funeral director to oversee the process.  Many funeral directors do not lie about do-it-yourself funerals when they say it cannot be done in a particular state.  They are simply misinformed.  Some states even allow backyard burials, subject to local laws/zoning.

How do I donate graves?

If you own graves that you do not want to sell or that you give up on trying to sell you can donate those graves.  You must donate them to a non profit.  I can help you with this if you like, for a fee.  By donating your graves you will receive a tax deduction based on the current value of the graves at the cemetery where they are located.  So it depends on your tax situation whether this benefits you or not.  Beyond that there is a social good to donating:  people who cannot afford to buy expensive graves can benefit from receiving your graves at no cost from the nonprofit.  And it is a way to get unused graves off your mind if you give up on trying to sell them.

Death Poetry and Burial at a Discount

The poet Tomas Transtromer of Sweden just won the 2011 Nobel Prize in Literature.  His poems find "depth in simplicity."  He wrote:  "In the middle of life it happens that death comes and measures man.  The visit is forgotten and life continues.  But the suit is made, quietly."  There has been much poetry written about death.  Many beautiful epitaphs are like poems.  Perhaps poetry can help us move through death.

Death comes to all of us whether we like it or not.  Usually it is a surprise and we and our survivors are not ready to accept it.   Think ahead.  Plan ahead.  Let me be your advocate for your cemetery arrangements at a steep discount to face value.  These arrangements can be bought at a discount.  Think about it.  We all shop around now for the best price for food, cars, clothes, electronics, etc.  Funeral home and cemetery prices are high.  Why not save money if you can.

How To Sell a Grave/Plot That You Will Not Need

If you own a plot/grave that you do not need and/or that you will not use it is possible to sell it.  It probably will take some time and some patience, and the right price.  The transaction is between the seller and the buyer.  Most cemeteries do not buy graves back.  They prefer to sell their own graves at full price to brand new buyers.  It is perfectly fine and legal to sell a grave.  When you hear the price that your cemetery charges for a grave you may see dollar signs.  But when selling a grave you will have to sell it at a steep discount to what the cemetery currently charges.  That discount averages around 80%.  Yes you read that correctly.  80%.  You can try to charge whatever price you want but my experience is that an 80% discount gets the job done.  If you try to charge too high a price your graves simply will not sell.  Buyers are looking for a deal.  And there may be a stigma about buyint a grave from you and not the cemetery.  But why shouldn't someone buy a grave from you at a discount when they can save so much money.  Those savings can be left to survivors, charity, etc.  Often unused graves are inherited so any dollar amount you get is gravy.  The cemetery will probably charge you a deed transfer fee of around $100 (give or take) per new deed created.  Maybe the buyer will assume that fee, especially since they are buying at a very good price.

I am happy to be your advocate in selling graves, for a fee, which we will discuss when appropriate.  I can be reached at 215-989-9348 and/or at deathternity@gmail.com.  Thank you and good luck.

Steve Jobs R.I.P.

Steve Jobs R.I.P.  What a life!  What an inspiration!  He himself said that we all will die and that that is the way the old goes away and new things, life, etc. come to be.  Yet 56 is so young these days.  I think of so many others who have died young.  Why?  Why do others live longer?

How To Buy A Grave At Need

Most people buy a grave after a death occurs (at need{AN}).  Any cemetery will sell you a grave AN at full price.  Prices may vary by location within a cemetery.  You will probably pick a cemetery nearby.  You will need to visit the cemetery and actually walk around until you find a location that appeals to you. Certainly prices of graves/plots vary across the United States.  Most cemetery "family service counselors" are sales people meaning that they get paid mostly or 100% by commission.  (The job title "family service counselor" is different at different cemeteries.)  In urban areas prices within a cemetery range from about $2,000.00 per grave up to maybe $8,000.00 per grave.  On at AN basis you must pay the cemetery in full upfront before a burial can take place.  Do you want to be in the ground in a grave?  Do you want to be above ground in a crypt?  Do you want to be above ground in a private mausoleum just for you and/or your spouse/partner and/or your loved ones?  Typically a crypt is more expensive than a grave and a private mausoleum is more expensive still.

Make sure you ask about Perpetual Care.  Is it included in the price?  Is it something that you pay extra for?  If so are you billed annually and if so what is that dollar amount?

You can also buy a grave AN from someone who owns a grave that they are never going to use.  You will pay the seller about 20% of what the cemetery will charge you.  So the savings can be dramatic and substantial.  It is perfectly legal to do this and pretty easy to do so.  (For a fee I can help you with this:  215-989-9348, deathternity@gmail.com.)

What happens when we die?

What happens when we die?  Is there an afterlife?  Is there a hereafter?  Are we reincarnated?  Is there life on other planets?  Is there an angel of death that we see or do not see?  Is there an angel of God?  Why can't we talk to or see the dead?  Should we care?  Are we irrational about death?  Should we be calm about death, our own and our loved ones?  Can we be calm?  Should we grieve?  What about Psychics, etc.?  Are they all frauds?  Do they prey on our weaknesses?  Are there ghosts or spirits?

Practically speaking when someone dies the first call made should be to the funeral home.  It is their responsibility to come for the body wherever it is located and then to prepare the body for it's final disposition.